Another Breastfeeding Post

If you'd rather not think any more about my nipples, I totally understand. Stop reading here.

The update to my problems with pumping is that the flanges are indeed too small for me. At the suggestion of a lactation consultant, I rented a Medela Symphony pump from the hospital yesterday, to see if the slightly different shape of their breastshields would improve the situation. And it did improve things somewhat.

But even with the XXL size, 36mm (which they told me at the hospital they almost never need to use), after a few minutes and even on low suction, I start to have the same problem, with my nips filling up the bottom of the tunnel, rubbing against it, and generally chafing. You'd never know it to look at my breasts...my nipples appear so tiny. But once that whole vacuum suction thing starts, dude do they expand.

So today I talked to Medela (the maker of the pump) customer service. Only thing left to try is 40mm, which is glass, has to be ordered specially, and costs $129.99 for each one! Which, frankly, I would happily spend, but not without some confidence it will work/be worth it. It also wouldn't be here for at least a week, which really doesn't help me go back to work on Monday.

I think we've got enough expressed milk for Monday (and actually, probably more, since Kai still refuses to drink more than maybe an ounce at a time from a bottle and seems to prefer to just wait until I'm here to feed him), but I'm so scared I'm not going to be able to pump during the day when I return to work. If my commute weren't so long (about an hour), Bob could just bring Kai to me a few times a day, but that doesn't really seem feasible under the circumstances. Kai is only going to be 10 weeks old when I return, and I really don't want to have to give him formula at such a young age, especially given his existing digestive issues (formula's much harder on a baby's tummy than breastmilk). I also don't even want to think about how engorged my breasts will get if this is what we have to do.

I've been trying to learn the Marmet technique for hand expression, but am having no luck. Plus, from what I understand, hand expression takes much longer than pumping. I would theoretically have needed to pump 3-4 times/day at work - I have a supportive boss/environment, but would feel very badly if I'm spending more time than that would have taken already not doing my work.

Why, oh why, can't my breasts just be like other people's? This is doing nothing for my relationship with them. Or the birth/postpartum supplies industry. Grr.