Kai's Birth...

Arriving at Mt. Auburn during the nighttime hours (on Thursday, January 3, 32 hours before Kai was actually born!) afforded us the wonderful experience of waking in the morning to this gorgeous sunrise outside our labor and delivery room:


I'm so glad that I was able to arrange for the support that I would need to go through Kai's birth pain medication free - Bob was steadfast throughout and such an important touchstone for me, which helped me stay much calmer and more centered in my hypnobirthing breathing than I might otherwise have been. At my doula, Gina's, recommendation, I locked eyes with him during the transition phase and pretty much entered a trance like state that had him thinking this was a peaceful phase of labor for me. Nice trick, I think, as it was definitely the most challenging hour or so of my life. I really thought the pushing would be the scary, hard part, but for me, the scary, hard part was really transition (transition is the last few centimeters of dilation, as your body gets ready to start pushing - I'm told that pitocin (synthetic oxytocin, used to encourage a woman's body to get into a regular and stronger contraction pattern) makes the contractions and labor much more intense - since I was still only 2cm after being at the hospital for almost 24 hours, we decided it was a good tool for me. I have no idea whether the labor was more challenging as a result, since I have no basis for comparison! Either way, I'm feeling pretty proud of myself, my preparation and my stamina...

People keep asking about the whole 32 hours thing...it really wasn't so bad. First, because not all of that was active labor...my water broke on Thursday night but my contractions weren't really regular or intense until Friday afternoon...and then Kai was born at 5:19am on Saturday morning. My experience of labor was that it was extremely intense, the hardest and most with during transition...Bob's presence, Gina's presence, and the support of our unusual OB Beth Hardiman (she delivers virtually all over her patients, truly got to know us, and really loves and has patience with natural childbirth and laboring moms) made me feel so loved and safe, so that in the moments when I felt terrified or overwhelmed, I could say so, experience it, and let it pass. There's a well-known midwife who says that a woman meets herself during her labor. What struck me most in this regard was my ability to surround myself with th love and support I need in my life...

It's true what they say, that you go somewhere else during labor...time distorts itself and the experience is the most physical I imagine I will ever have.


I'm happy to have had what I needed to give Kai a peaceful birth...he was born incredibly alert with his eyes wide open and checking out the world.

Yup, the Belly Was Kai-Sized!

Thanks to our Rachel Distler for taking these beautiful pics a week before Kai was born!

A Walk in the Fells

Bob and I were very proud of ourselves for taking a walk in the fells a few weeks back. It's so close, but we so rarely think of heading over...Definitely always worth it, though! My belly's making the vest extra puffy! :)

Thank you!!!

Our friend Laurie threw us a wonderful baby shower this past weekend, filling our house with friends, family, and lots of new baby gear! Folks also made some very cute onesies for Kai...

We were pscyhed that we had a chance to get Kai's room set up ahead of time for everyone to see:
Actually, a lot of what you see in this photo came from the shower (like the balloon in the upper left corner, the stroller and diaper bags, many of the toys on the changing table and books on the shelves). I laid the quilt out on the floor that Bob's mom needlepointed - it's pretty much adorable. Both grandmas-to-be made contributed a number of beautiful handmade items to Kai's collection...A favorite gift was from Bob's sister: the Ewok that was among his own childhood favorites (it turns out that Bob was incredibly fastidious when it came to caring for his things even as a small child!):

Um, Time Warp?

In 2000, I was constantly peeved at progressives. Back then, the mantra was that democrats and republicans were the same, there was no appreciable difference between Al Gore and George Bush.

Now, everyone loves Al Gore.

And I keep hearing people say there's not much difference between Hillary Clinton and Republicans.

Um. Earth to everyone. Yes there is. And it's pretty darned substantial. And she's the only democrat in the field who is consistently polling as beating all of the republicans in a general. Can we stop convincing ourselves that she's either the same as a republican or unelectable? Actually, the thing that I suspect leads people to think she might be kind of like a republican are many of the things about her that also, frankly, make her electable. But whatever. Progressives, unfortunately my tribe, having been making me mad for years. By and large, it doesn't seem to me that we're a very pragmatic or realistic bunch.

It's official!

I'm starting a new job on October 30 at Simmons College and I couldn't be more ecstatic! Woohoo!

Small Victories

"A Harvard student who plans to take her medical licensing test next week can have 60 minutes of extra break time to pump breast milk for her infant daughter, a Massachusetts appeals court said."

You know, until I was pregnant myself, I really didn't understand just how much changes in terms of how you're perceived, what assumptions even the most well-meaning of employers might make, and what you're going to need once the baby is born in order to breastfeed for anywhere near what modern science recommends for the baby's health.

I can't even begin to understand why this case had to be brought to court, and why the medical examiners couldn't just give her the time she needed to pump.

26 Weeks...

So, um, I think I look pregnant now.

I Survived...

But I'm not sure I gained anything of value from the last two hours. At least not from the debate. On Facebook, in the Fluff Friends application, I won some munny betting on races between the pets of my friends and me. But munny doesn't have much value in the real world either.

Greenspan

Apparently says in his new book that we should raise taxes on gasoline by $3.00 a gallon over the next few years. As much as it pains my budget to say this, I wholeheartedly agree. I'd been thinking about buying his book. Now I really want to read it.

30 Seconds or Less

It's the "lightening round" now. The candidates have 30 seconds or less to answer questions. Because before, you know, they had so much time to share substantive information.

I'm so tired of watching this...

It's just not informative.

Mike Gravel, Health Care, Candidates Getting a Few Digs...

Is sweet. He's ashamed that America is building a fence along our border and says that's not the America he fought for. Maybe I'll vote for him out of affection.

But really, I'm most likely voting for Hillary. A lot of people I respect really disagree when I translate things into practical terms about how things actually get done in Washington, how policy moves forward and gets enacted, how compromise typically has to occur, how the most effective president is one who is committed to a set of values but also understands that they won't be successful unless they work with the people across the aisle. I know it's every progressive's fantasy to have a president who inspires them with their own progressiveness. But I really think such a person would fail to actually enact much of their agenda...I want someone effective.

Dude. Biden was just smart. He complimented HC on her hard work on universal health care and talked about how it's not her fault, she's fantastic, that because she's been fighting special interests for so long and has been a lightening rod for the right that it would be far harder for her to pass universal health care than it would be for others. He stressed that it wasn't his fault.

'Kay. Chattin' about health care now. Edwards is actually trying to say that he is not a Washington insider. And Tim Russert just called him on the fact that four years ago he said we couldn't afford universal health care and it would be a bad idea to do it. Edwards is bugging me right now.

Hee hee. BO just complimented HC and Edwards for their work on health care, and then dug at them both, saying 'I know John wants credit for issuing a plan first. Harry Truman had a plan years ago." Then he told Hillary that health care failed for her because the American people did not feel welcome into the conversation. Sorry, but that's bull and anyone who followed what happened at the time knows it.

Oh. Mike Gravel just said that when he went bankrupt earlier in life, he stuck the credit card companies with $90,000 of bills that they deserved. It was kind of funny. Kucinich is now being asked about how he managed to bankrupt Cleveland.

More on Why I Hate These Debates

Bill Richardson actually begins to get into an interesting conversation about Middle East peace process (or lack thereof), and the current lack of communication with countries with which we used to keep channels open (like Syria and Lebanon).

Now a question about whether cities that have declared themselves as Safe Havens for undocumented immigrants would be allowed to ignore immigration enforcement laws. The questions are not designed to result in the delivery of information to the American public. The questions are designed to create drama, conflict, and controversy. And frankly, for the most part, most of the candidates are resisting delivering it. Which I respect.

NICE. "Rudy Guiliani doesn't know what the heck he's talking about. He's the most uninformed person about foreign policy..." Biden.

Bill RIchardson

"I've talked to these bad guys before."

And thus, I am at an advantage to talk to them again now.

He does have actual diplomatic experience unlike the other candidates. He'd be a decent Sec. of State.

Iran

Aaargh.

Tim Russert: Will you make a promise not to allow Iran to become a nuclear power?

Why does everything have to framed like this kind of question. It follows him trying to get people to say whether Israel would be justified in attacking Iran if they felt their security were threatened. So far HC and BO are refusing to answer that directly, trying to actually deal with it as the complex and hypothetical question that it is. That there are many, many, many steps to take before we talk about attacking Iran.

Russert: So you won't make a promise like Rudy Guiliani did.

HC or BO: Dude. Why are you so dumb.

Okay. That's not how the conversation went, but that's how they should have responded to him.

Edwards says the key with Iran is to "stick some carrots." Oh!! Now he's back to the conversation that Tim Russert said was over. Apparently the basic issue was whether to call the Iranian Guard a terrorist organization. This, apparently, is being equated with giving George Bush the right to attack Iran.

Tim Russert & Mike Gravel

Keeps asking the candidates if they can pledge to have all troops out of Iraq by a particular date. Again with the sound biteism.

Mike Gravel is saying the forty consecutive days of voting in Congress would result in an end to the war in Iraq. He says if the votes aren't there, the senators should grap their colleagues by the neck and get the votes.

I'm going to need to investigate what Iran related resolution the Senate voted on today. Mike Gravel congratulated Biden and Dodd for voting against it, said he was ashamed of Hillary (who voted for it) and Obama (who wasn't even there to vote).

Biden just tried to start clarifying what the vote was actually about (apparently Gravel didn't correctly explain - though I didn't understand his explanation to begin with), and Tim Russert interrupted to say the discussion was over. Yes. Let's not actually explain anything.

First pearls of wisdom

Obama's whole "there are bad options and worse options." uh-huh. Hillary says she agrees.

Edwards: "good people have differences"...well, yes, yes, they do.

Bill Richardson "has a fundamental difference with Senator Edwards, Senator Obama, and Senator Clinton."

You know, I'm kind of tired of the spectacle of televised media trying to address complex issues. My reaction watching the candidates is to roll my eyes at pretty much everything they say about Iraq, but when it gets down to it, they're not really to blame. The format of televised politicking, which no candidate who is actually trying to win can opt out of, makes it impossible to say anything that is not superficial. I'm remembering why I hate watching televised debates. I hate television media and what it has done to politics in our country.

Blogging the debate...

I'm making myself watch tonight's democratic presidential primary debate. Why? Mostly because I'm stuck in a hotel room and I have nothing else to do, and I haven't been able to make myself get through any of the twenty million others that have taken place to date.

Bleh

Oy, my morning sickness reared its ugly head again yesterday...I don't think I actually kept any liquid in my body from the day, and managed to lose nearly two pounds in 24 hours. I'm doing a little better this morning, but feeling wretched.

On top of that, all night it felt like my little guy was jumping up and down on my cervix. I think this is actually a good sign (baby activity), but felt really weird, almost like he was trying to get out, so it got me a bit worried. I'm waiting for my doctor's office to call me back right now, and hoping that will make me feel better...

Here's to sickness free pregnancies for everyone I know and love!