The Creek, re-lived.

Bob gave me the third and fourth seasons of Dawson's Creek on DVD for Christmas. I watched the twenty-three episodes of season three between Friday night and Sunday night of this past weekend. So happily. And so engrossed. Dawson's, Sex and the City, the Sopranos, movies with Dermot Mulroney, Reality Bites, Dirty Dancing, French Kiss...I have a fixation that feels abnormal. Or perhaps the word 'involvement' might be more appropriate. When I watch, I absorb the fictional characters' emotions and feel them myself. Perhaps because in middle school and high school I had so few real relationships to invest in, I learned to feel them through movies. Or perhaps because it's my escape - my version of Bob's video games. Probably explains the origin of my melodramatic perceptions of the Events of My Life, particularly when I was still in college, that angst/joy-filled time for us all. I don't know. All I know is that last night, when I got to watch Pacey and Joey fall in love all over again, I felt like I was one of them. I also felt like a big, silly, dorky gal. But I was okay with that.

Oy Vay.

Well, it's been a hell of a weekend. Some bad, some good to come out of it, and a whole lot to sort out. Raise your hand if you knew that I was a great big ball of codependence. I didn't know. Seriously. I didn't. But I'm starting to and I'm feeling like there is light at the end of the tunnel. That maybe, just maybe, I can learn how to breathe the day in fully, exhaling without fear. That grudges can give way to forgiveness. I've become this giant sponge, absorbing everyone's emotions and blaming them for it - secretly believing that I can save the people I love from themselves. This weekend I began to get a firm grip on myself. It's time to wring myself out and figure out how I'm feeling. A slogan I found that amuses me:

Expectations are like resentments in escrow.

Massachusetts Liberals Have Highest Family Values

In case you hadn't heard, Massachusetts has the lowest divorce rate in the nation: 2.4 per thousand.

It would appear that us blue folk know how to keep our families together better than those bible thumpers elsewhere. Yes, today I'm feeling the snooty Northeastern yuppy liberal in myself. And yes, as a married, snooty Northeastern liberal yuppy, I'm feeling pretty proud of my roots and a little bit "nyeh-nyeh" toward the red states.

On its way out: 2004

I thought I would take a moment to reflect on the steps forward and back in 2004...

Forward
All of my gay friends can finally get married - at least in Massachusetts. Hopefully sometime soon the state and feds will change other laws, like the tax code, so that my gay married friends will actually have the same rights that Bob and I enjoy.

For the first time in memorable history, the Dems outraised the evil ones for the year. Yipee. Crazy liberals are finally putting their money where their mouths are.

I finally settled down into a job that I will likely hold for more than a year. That's pretty darned exciting. Caveats aside.

Bob has a fantastic job that he loves and just got an 8% raise. We like that.

Our friends and families are generally happy, healthy and well.

Not so forward - in fact, downright cruddy
Bush won. A lot of other states decided that they should codify gay-bashing even further with hateful anti-gay marriage laws. And my abortion rights magic 8 ball keeps telling me 'my sources say no'. People my age are dying or becoming injured at an obscene rate in a war that may or may not end in the forseeable future.

So that's my 2004 analysis in a nutshell. My little bubble is okay, but whenever I think beyond that bubble, I get kinda queasy.

2005, I hope you've got some good news up your sleeve.

Joshua Jackson AND Patrick Stewart

* Sigh * I'm embarassed to say (though not so embarassed that I won't post it online) that I love both of these two men. And now they're appearing on stage together.

The Apollo Theatre will play host to David Mamet’s two hander A Life in the Theatre, starring Patrick Stewart and Joshua Jackson. Rather fittingly it’s about a veteran actor teaching his craft to a younger newcomer – Stewart has appeared in numerous West End outings whereas Jackson, best known for Dawson’s Creek, is making his West End debut. The last time we saw Patrick Stewart on stage was in 2003 when he headlined Ibsen’s The Master Builder - quite a contrast to Joshua Jackson, who has not appeared on stage since he was eight. The play is directed by regular Mamet director Lindsay Posner, who has attracted such celebrities as Matthew Perry, Minnie Driver and Julia Stiles.

In other ridiculous Lauren celebrity news, I saw Matt Damon last weekend at The Burren in Davis Square. I have now mentioned this fact at least three dozen times. Also, have you seen any of the promos for that silly-looking reality show about the "real-life" princess looking for a wealthy mate? Apparently, she is my friend Debbie's roommate's ex-girlfriend. Karen, I hope you've enjoyed this pop culture post.

Raining

At work, not exactly recovered from my 3am bedtime last night. A coworker was a little bit rude to me a few moments ago, but instead of getting upset, I just sat quietly at my desk, closed my eyes for a few moments, and realized how soothing the sound of the rain outside and the hum of our lights can be. My hands feel a little tingly and the moose are definitely getting quieter. The rain deposits on my window make it look like that funky corrugated glass, the kind that is sometimes tinted green. It's a bubbly window.

Stillness and tacos don't seem to be a matching pair. Did I mention that I was up too late last night?