I'm so glad that I was able to arrange for the support that I would need to go through Kai's birth pain medication free - Bob was steadfast throughout and such an important touchstone for me, which helped me stay much calmer and more centered in my hypnobirthing breathing than I might otherwise have been. At my doula, Gina's, recommendation, I locked eyes with him during the transition phase and pretty much entered a trance like state that had him thinking this was a peaceful phase of labor for me. Nice trick, I think, as it was definitely the most challenging hour or so of my life. I really thought the pushing would be the scary, hard part, but for me, the scary, hard part was really transition (transition is the last few centimeters of dilation, as your body gets ready to start pushing - I'm told that pitocin (synthetic oxytocin, used to encourage a woman's body to get into a regular and stronger contraction pattern) makes the contractions and labor much more intense - since I was still only 2cm after being at the hospital for almost 24 hours, we decided it was a good tool for me. I have no idea whether the labor was more challenging as a result, since I have no basis for comparison! Either way, I'm feeling pretty proud of myself, my preparation and my stamina...
People keep asking about the whole 32 hours thing...it really wasn't so bad. First, because not all of that was active labor...my water broke on Thursday night but my contractions weren't really regular or intense until Friday afternoon...and then Kai was born at 5:19am on Saturday morning. My experience of labor was that it was extremely intense, the hardest and most with during transition...Bob's presence, Gina's presence, and the support of our unusual OB Beth Hardiman (she delivers virtually all over her patients, truly got to know us, and really loves and has patience with natural childbirth and laboring moms) made me feel so loved and safe, so that in the moments when I felt terrified or overwhelmed, I could say so, experience it, and let it pass. There's a well-known midwife who says that a woman meets herself during her labor. What struck me most in this regard was my ability to surround myself with th love and support I need in my life...
It's true what they say, that you go somewhere else during labor...time distorts itself and the experience is the most physical I imagine I will ever have.
I'm happy to have had what I needed to give Kai a peaceful birth...he was born incredibly alert with his eyes wide open and checking out the world.
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